Then Delilah pouted, “How can you tell me, ‘I love you,’ when you don’t share your secrets with me? You’ve made fun of me three times now, and you still haven’t told me what makes you so strong!” She tormented him with her nagging day after day until he was sick to death of it.
Finally, Samson shared his secret with her. “My hair has never been cut,” he confessed, “for I was dedicated to God as a Nazirite from birth. If my head were shaved, my strength would leave me, and I would become as weak as anyone else.” Judges 16:15-17
I believe the most grievous thing a woman can do to a man is to exploit his weaknesses. We know why Delilah did it to Samson, but why do we do it? If you’ll allow me, I’ll walk you through a very eye-opening truth God has begun to reveal to me in my study on covenants.
Covenants were created to eliminate weaknesses. Until we see our need, we will never covenant with someone because in our minds, we’re good the way we are. But once the weakness is known, we realize we’re doomed without help. It’s how most of us came to know and covenant with Jesus.
We’ve always heard the saying, ‘opposites attract’, right? Why do you think that is? It’s because the other person is good in areas we are not and we appreciate those strengths in them. If we married someone just like us, there would be no benefit to us simply because we’re too much alike.
In the old days, a farmer and a warrior would covenant together simply because the warrior couldn’t grow food and the farmer couldn’t defend his crops. The benefit for each was that the farmer would feed the starving warrior, and the warrior would defend the farmers property so no one would steal from him.
Let’s just say the farmer had a wife and she began saying to him, “Why can’t you be more like our strong warrior neighbor? I think it’s sexy when a man takes up his sword and fights.”
So lets say that the farmer decides he wants to please his wife so instead of planting one year, he learns how to use a sword and look sexy to his wife. First he would have no crops to harvest because he had wasted the time learning to do what his covenant partner had already said he would do. So now he can’t feed his covenant partner, he hasn’t enough to feed his own family, he looks stupid wielding a sword because that’s not what he is good at and his wife is disappointed with the outcome.
Covenants are made to eliminate weaknesses, not to focus on them! Truth be told, we all have a tendency to focus on the bad, not the good. To see the weakness and not the strength. We devalue because we’ve lost sight of the value.
It’s the ones we are closest to that bug us the most. Why? Because our focus has gotten off track. Don’t lose sight of the value your spouse brings to the relationship. Don’t allow the foxes to steal the love and appreciation for the strengths he brings. To honor, you must treat as extraordinary. Make him your super-hero and watch how he sees himself change.
Your spouse will only measure up to who you think and say he is. If you can’t see his value, someone else will and they will tell him. Make a decision to be the only one who sees his value and constantly tells him what he’s worth to God and to you. If you can’t see him the way God does, you will never convey that image to him.
Focus on the good and diminish the bad. It takes work and effort, but truth be told, you will get what you set your sights on.
Be Blessed Today!