Have you ever been angry with God? I have! I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this struggle.
When I was 13, my dad died very tragically and multiple people came to me and said, “God took your daddy.” That made me angry! I couldn’t understand why a loving God would do such a thing. For two years I harbored some very deep resentment until someone spoke into me the truth of God’s love. That Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy, but that God came to bring life more abundantly.
Sunday, our pastor talked about Hannah in 1 Samuel 1. There was so much to her story that spoke to me but perhaps in a little different light. Her story was about an empty womb, mine was about unanswered prayer. But the struggle she went through on her journey was one I could definitely relate to.
Watching others receive miraculous healing while you watch a loved one suffer is hard. Hearing one bad report after another is hard. Sometimes I have to constantly remind myself that Jesus didn’t say I’d never go through anything, He said He’d go through it with me. I just have to remember that. I choose to trust Him.
And when I want to pound my head against a door because it’s stuck shut, I have to tell myself, remember who holds the key and wait for Him to open the door. In the mean time, I’ll simply wait and trust in His unfailing hand. I may not hear what I’d like to hear or get what I want to get, but I know He loves me and wants what’s best for me. I don’t see it all or know it all, but He does. I choose to trust Him.
Sometimes something has to die and be uprooted so that something else can come through. Something with other purpose that’s meant to feed others and give life. What looked good to me may have just served His purpose and needs to go. I choose to trust Him.
I was born with purpose. Not mine–His. My spirit possesses multiple seeds that are for specific seasons. I choose to trust Him.
What if the thing I’m longing for is for then and not now? It’s about timing. You’re going to be glad that your expectations didn’t let go. I choose to trust Him.
Your womb holds your future. But even if your natural womb is taken, your spiritual womb will still produce. I choose to trust Him.