Yielded & Out of Control


And the Lord had replied to Moses, “Yes, I will do what you have asked, for you have certainly found favor with me, and you are my friend.”

Then Moses asked to see God’s glory.

The Lord replied, “I will make my goodness pass before you, and I will announce to you the meaning of my name Jehovah, the Lord. I show kindness and mercy to anyone I want to.” Exodus 33:17-19 TLB

God loves to exchange dialog with us because that’s what friends do. There are two parts to conversation; talking and listening. Many times we talk but walk away before He has a chance to answer us.

Yesterday I shared my experience in receiving the Holy Spirit. If you didn’t get a chance to read it, please do so. It’s such a big part of who I am today and it will give depth to what I’m about to share with you.

When we returned from the lake that summer, I had such a hunger for Gods word and just couldn’t get enough of it. Anytime I would read something I didn’t understand or I felt there was something I just wasn’t picking up, I would ask God for the answer.

There was a big empty field across from our home that led back to the Red Cedar River. It was a small river, but I loved to go back and stare at the water. It was so peaceful and seemed to wash everything away. Beside the river, there were logs that people had placed there. I would sit on these logs and be very quiet, my thoughts and questions racing through my head. And in those moments, I would begin to talk with God. It was always in my thoughts because I didn’t want my words to screw it up.

As I would sit with Him, I began to take the questions I had and ask Him. Remember, I was 15, so anything goes here! My biggest need to know was why. “Everyone says You took my daddy. Why did you do that?”

“Oh honey, though your daddy is here with me, I didn’t take him. I welcomed him with open arms, but I’m a loving Father and my nature is to give life, not to take it. People often say things they shouldn’t because they just don’t know what to say. Learn from that. If you long to comfort, wrap your arms around them and tell them I love them, but if you don’t know what to say, stay silent.”

The rest of that conversation was too intimate to discuss with anyone else. It showed me that our words are important and life and death is in them. We often give God credit or blame for things we spoke ourselves. If we had not had that conversation, I would not have learned this incredible truth at a young age.

There was one time when I was just worshipping God, yielding more of me to Him. Each time I would do this, it seemed He would fill me with more of Him. I didn’t quite understand this until I was married and became intimate with my husband. It was more then being filled with his sperm, it was about becoming one in body and spirit.

This particular instance was something I’d never experienced before. In that moment of deep intimate exchange with God, I ‘tunneled’ out again but this time I saw an angel with a red hot coal in his hand. As he approached me, he placed the coal on my lips and I heard God say, “I have placed my Word in your mouth and anointed you for great purpose.”

I don’t believe I would have seen or heard God speak if I hadn’t taken the time to cultivate intimate conversation with Him. Not just talking-and I do love to talk-but listening. I don’t know about you but I need instructions every day. I can’t go a day without hearing His voice. I would just as soon leave this earth to be with Him if I became to busy to listen.

My life has not been easy. My life hasn’t been usual. I’ve experienced some horrible things and yet, each and everything I’ve endured, God has found purpose for. I’ve had no formal education, but I’ve been schooled by the Spirit of God and that my friend is an education I would not live without. I may never speak to a congregation of men, but I’ve spoken to angels and they obeyed the voice of His Word.

I may never prophesy in a church, but I’ve prophesied over my husband, my children and my grandchildren. I’ve declared things over people I don’t even know simply in obedience to the Spirit who sent me. My life is not my own, I’ve been bought and paid for by the blood of Jesus Christ my Messiah. There’s nothing on this earth that I desire over relationship and intimacy with my Holy Spirit.

I understand the words of Paul when he said, “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain.”  He is my everything, and this becomes more evident as each day goes by. I don’t control my now and I don’t pretend to know my future, but I trust the One who does.

Are you hungry to go deeper with God? Ask Him, but when you do, be ready to let go of the bar, lift your hands high in the sky and be ready for the biggest rollercoaster ride of your life. It will take you where you never dreamed of going. You’ll be ridiculed, laughed at and totally misunderstood, but just a reminder, it’s your life to live for Him.

There are always those who want to be safe on the ground. Those who refuse to let go of control and those who will try to hold onto you for safety. But if you want this kind of relationship with God, just stay yielded and out of control.


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