Long ago, about 40 years now, I sat at a table talking with a young man about the Word. Right in the middle of the exchange, I heard the Lord clearly say to me, “This is the man you will marry.” Seriously? Just like that? I don’t even love this guy! Then, just as if God opened me up and poured something warm on me, he filled me with His love toward Walt. Yes, that’s right, I married that man one year and 5 months later. Let me add to this story that I was in Haiti at the time and Walt was led to visit us with a friend who had canceled on him at the last moment.

Now, here’s the part many don’t know. Our marriage was hell for the first 7 years. At one point, I left him for a month and argued with God about not going back. I questioned whether I heard from God or not. There was no love in our marriage, no good communication. I felt alone, neglected and may I add, very sorry for myself. God was patient with me but my great moment of change was when He showed me that I wasn’t perfect either. His words to me were, “You work on you and let me work on Walt.”

Matthew 7:3-5 says, “Why do you notice the small piece of dust that is in your friend’s eye, but you don’t notice the big piece of wood that is in your own?  Why do you say to your friend, ‘Let me take that piece of dust out of your eye’? Look at yourself first! You still have that big piece of wood in your own eye.  You are a hypocrite! First, take the wood out of your own eye. Then you will see clearly to get the dust out of your friend’s eye.”  Thats what God was saying to me. You change you. You work on you. 

When I began to see Walt as God saw him and began building him up instead of tearing him down, he changed. Is he perfect? Does it matter? None of us are perfect, but God works with what we have to offer and makes us into His image and likeness and that happens in it’s own time for His own purpose. Just like sandpaper, God adds people to our life to refine us. It’s not always comfortable, but it’s necessary. Why do we always have unrealistic expectations of others when we ourselves don’t even measure up. God gave us one command, “Love one another as I have loved you.” Not with our puny human love but with His big unconditional lavish love. He didn’t say they’d deserve it, but we didn’t deserve His love either.

You may be hurt today because of what someone else has done. You can’t control them, but you can control what you think and what you say. You can allow God to take what satan meant for bad and use it for His good. You can allow Him to pick up the broken pieces of  your life and create something beautiful. You are a work of art. Don’t allow others to determine your destiny, that is for God alone to decide. Stop asking why. Start asking God to use you in new ways. Falling is less painful when you have someone to catch you. God is standing ready to catch you now.

Father, in all the hurt and frustrations we encounter, may we find we have you to run to. You care so much for us and we choose to trust in you. It seems that each time we get our eyes off you and onto someone or something else, we lose our sense of balance. We search for happiness in others instead of you. You are the foundation that we build our lives on. We are complete in you. May we always find you in the center of it all. Our lives are yours and we trust you. We trust you with our husbands, our children, even our grandchildren. Every relationship we have, may your will be done. In Jesus’ Name. Amen